The Top Ten Twitter Responses to My Recent Write-Up about GTA 5


I recently wrote an article about the portrayal of sex workers in the game Grand Theft Auto 5. Over a period of two days, I received many messages via Twitter. They were mostly rude. Here are a few versions of those messages, rendered in a language that is appropriate for this place…

Hello person who is like a sexual organ. A new regime is coming during which you will be regretful about your opinions and will suffer unspecified humiliations and sadnesses.

You will have your trousers taken away and you will not enjoy what happens next.

Your youthful decision not to spend time and energy securing specific educational accolades is evidence that your views are not worthy to be shared.

Surely, you sir have shaped your declared views about women in society around a laudable desire to convince feminist women to share sexual congress with you. This is an excellent plan. Bravo.

You are a weird pervert who is obsessed with ladies of the night and procuring sexual relations with said.

Through an unspecified process, your foolish belief that people of all genders ought to be treated equally is, in fact, ensuring greater gender inequality and this is amusing because you are a human manifestation of an anus.

Your limited intelligence makes it impossible for you to comprehend that the world is arranged in a manner that is, in fact, entirely satisfactory so you ought to stop talking with your sexually active mouth.

You, sir, are a writer of meager talents whose primary concern is self-enrichment through the procurement of dishonestly attained internet page-views.

You write for an outlet that is quite good, except for those occasions when it is really not very good and on those occasions it is you who is doing the writing and you should stop writing so the outlet can go back to being quite good.

You should endeavor to seek out many penises of other men and place them in your mouth.